A Road to Self-Knowledge
GA 16
First Meditation
In which the Attempt is made to obtain a True Idea of the Physical Body
[ 1 ] When the soul is surrendered to the phenomena of the outer world by means of physical perception, it cannot be said—after true self-analysis—that the soul perceives these phenomena, or that it actually experiences the things of the outer world. For, during the time of surrender, in its devotion to the outer world, the soul knows in truth nothing of itself. The fact is rather that the sunlight itself, radiating from things through space in various colours, lives or experiences itself within the soul. When the soul enjoys any event, at the moment of enjoyment it actually is joy in so far as it is conscious of being anything. Joy experiences itself in the soul. The soul is one with its experience of the world. It does not experience itself as something separate which feels joy, admiration, delight, satisfaction, or fear. It actually is joy, admiration, delight, satisfaction, and fear. If the soul would always admit this fact, then and only then would the occasions when it retires from the experience of the outer world and contemplates itself by itself appear in the right light. These moments would then appear as forming a life of quite a special character, which at once shows itself to be entirely different from the ordinary life of the soul. It is with this special kind of life that the riddles of the soul's existence begin to dawn upon our consciousness. And these riddles are, in fact, the source of all other riddles of the world. For two worlds—an outer and an inner—present themselves to the spirit of man, directly the soul for a longer or shorter time ceases to be one with the outer world and withdraws into the loneliness of its own existence.
[ 2 ] Now this withdrawal is no simple process, which, having been once accomplished, may be repeated again in much the same way. It is much more like the beginning of a pilgrimage into worlds previously unknown. When once this pilgrimage has been begun, every step made will call forth others, and will also be the preparation for these others. It is the first step which makes the soul capable of taking the next one. And each step brings fuller knowledge of the answer to the question: “What is Man in the true sense of the word?” Worlds open up which are hidden from the ordinary conception of life. And yet only in those worlds can the facts be found which will reveal the truth about this very conception. And even if no answer proves all-embracing and final the answers obtained through the soul's inner pilgrimage go beyond everything which the outer senses and the intellect bound up with them can ever give. For this “ something more ” is necessary to man, and he will find that this is so, when he really and earnestly analyses his own nature.
[ 3 ] At the outset of such a pilgrimage through the realms of our own soul, hard logic and common sense are necessary. They form a safe starting-point for pushing on into the supersensible realms, which the soul, after all, is yearning to reach. Many a soul would prefer not to trouble about such a starting-point, but rather penetrate directly into the supersensible realms; though every healthy soul, even if it has at first avoided such commonsense considerations as disagreeable, will always submit to them later. For however much knowledge of the supersensible worlds one may have obtained from another starting-point, one can only gain a firm footing there through some such methods of reasoning as follow here.
[ 4 ] In the life of the soul moments may come in which it says to itself: “You must be able to withdraw from everything that an outer world can give you, if you do not wish to be forced into confessing that you are but self-contradictory non-sense; but this would make life impossible, because it is clear that what you perceive around you exists independently of you; it existed without you and will continue to exist without you. Why then do colours perceive themselves in you, whilst your perception may be of no consequence to them? Why do the forces and materials of the outer world build up your body? Careful thought will show that this body only acquires life as the outward manifestation of you. It is a part of the outer world transformed into you, and, moreover, you realise that it is necessary to you. Because, to begin with, you could have no inner experiences without your senses, which the body alone can put at your disposal. You would remain empty without your body, such as you are at the beginning. It gives you through the senses inner fulness and substance.” And then all those reflections may follow which are essential to any human existence if it does not wish to get into unbearable contradiction with itself at certain moments which come to every human being. This body—as it exists at the present moment—is the expression of the soul's experience. Its processes are such as to allow the soul to live through it and to gain experience of itself in it.
A time will come, however, when this will not be so. The life in the body will some day be subject to laws quite different from those which it obeys to-day whilst living for you, and for the sake of your soul's experience. It will become subject to those laws, according to which the material and forces in nature are acting, laws which have nothing more to do with you and your life. The body to which you owe the experience of your soul, will be absorbed in the general world-process and exist there in a form which has nothing more in common with anything that you experience within yourself.
[ 5 ] Such a reflection may call forth in the inner experience all the horror of the thought of death, but without the admixture of the merely personal feelings which are ordinarily connected with this thought. When such personal feelings prevail it is not easy to establish the calm, deliberate state of mind necessary for obtaining knowledge. It is natural that man should want to know about death and about a life of the soul independent of the dissolution of the body. But the relation existing between man himself and these questions is—perhaps more than anything else in the world—apt to confuse his objective judgment and to make him accept as genuine answers only those which are inspired by his own desires or wishes. For it is impossible to obtain true knowledge of anything in the spiritual realms without being able with complete unconcern to accept a “No ” quite as willingly as a “Yes.” And we need only look conscientiously into ourselves to become distinctly aware of the fact that we do not accept the knowledge of an extinction of the life of the soul together with the death of the body with the same equanimity as the opposite knowledge which teaches the continued existence of the soul beyond death. No doubt there are people who quite honestly believe in the annihilation of the soul on the extinction of the life of the body, and who arrange their lives accordingly. But even these are not unbiased with regard to such a belief. It is true that they do not allow the fear of annihilation, and the wish for continued existence, to get the better of the reasons which are distinctly in favour of such annihilation. So far the conception of these people is more logical than that of others who unconsciously construct or accept arguments in favour of a continued existence, because there is an ardent desire in the secret depths of their souls for such continued existence. And yet the view of those who deny immortality is no less biased, only in a different way. There are amongst them some who build up a certain idea of what life and existence are. This idea forces them to think of certain conditions, without which life is impossible. Their view of existence leads them to the conclusion that the conditions of the soul's life can no longer be present when the body falls away. Such people do not notice that they have themselves from the very first fixed an idea of the conditions necessary for the existence of life, and cannot believe in a continuation of life after death for the simple reason that, according to their own preconceived idea, there is no possibility of imagining an existence without a body. Even if they are not biased by their own wishes, they are biased by their own ideas from which they cannot emancipate themselves. Much confusion still prevails in such matters, and only a few examples need be put forward of what exists in this direction. [ 6 ] For instance, the thought that the body, through whose processes the soul manifests its life, will eventually be given over to the outer world, and follow laws which have no relation to inner life—this thought puts the experience of death before the soul in such a way that no wish, no personal consideration, need necessarily enter the mind; and by a thought such as this we are led to a simple, impersonal question of knowledge. Then also the thought will soon dawn upon the mind that the idea of death is not important in itself, but rather because it may throw light upon life. And we shall have to come to the conclusion that it is possible to understand the riddle of life through the nature of death.
[ 7 ] The fact that the soul desires its own continued existence should, under all circumstances, make us suspicious with regard to any opinion which the soul forms about its own immortality. For why should the facts of the world pay any heed to the feelings of the soul? It is a possible thought that the soul, like a flame produced from fuel, merely flashes forth from the substance of the body and is then again extinguished. Indeed, the necessity of forming some opinion about its own nature might perhaps lead the soul to this very thought, with the result that it would feel itself to be devoid of meaning. But nevertheless this thought might be the actual truth of the matter, even although it made the soul feel itself to be meaningless.
When the soul turns its eyes to the body, it ought only to take into consideration that which the body may reveal to it. It then seems as if in nature such laws were active as drive matter and forces into a continual process of change, and as if these laws controlled the body and after a while drew it into that general process of mutual change.
[ 8 ] You may put this idea in any way you like: it may be scientifically admissible, but with regard to true reality it proves itself to be quite impossible. You may find it to be the only idea which seems scientifically clear and sensible, and that all the rest are only subjective beliefs. You may imagine that it is so, but you cannot adhere to this idea with a really unbiased mind. And that is the point. Not that which the soul according to its own nature feels to be a necessity, but only that which the outer world, to which the body belongs, makes evident, ought to be taken into consideration. After death this outer world absorbs the matter and forces of the body, which then follow laws that are quite indifferent to that which takes place in the body during life. These laws (which are of a physical and chemical nature) have just the same relation to the body as they have to any other lifeless thing of the outer world. It is impossible to imagine that this indifference of the outer world with regard to the human body should only begin at the moment of death, and should not have existed during life.
An idea of the relation between our body and the physical world cannot be obtained from life, but only from impressing upon our mind the thought that everything belonging to us as a vehicle of our senses, and as the means by which the soul carries on its life—all this is treated by the physical world in a way which only becomes clear to us when we look beyond the limits of our bodily life and take into consideration that a time will come when we no longer have about us the body in which we are now gaining experience of ourselves. Any other conception of the relation between the outer physical world and the body conveys in itself the feeling of not conforming with reality. The idea, however, that it is only after death that the real relationship between the body and the outer world reveals itself does not contradict any real experience of the outer or the inner world.
The soul does not feel the thought to be unendurable, that the matter and the forces of its body are given up to processes of the outer world which have nothing to do with its own life. Surrendering itself to life in a perfectly unprejudiced way, it cannot discover in its own depths any wish arising from the body which makes the thought of dissolution after death a disagreeable one. The idea becomes unbearable only when it implies that the matter and the forces returning to the outer world take with them the soul and its experiences of its own existence. Such an idea would be unbearable for the same reason as would any other idea, which does not grow naturally out of a reliance on the manifestation of the outer world.
[ 9 ] To ascribe to the outer world an entirely different relation to the existence of the body during life from that which it bears after death is an absolutely futile idea. As such it will always be repelled by reality, whereas the idea that the relation between the outer world and the body remains the same before and after death is quite sound. The soul, holding this latter view, feels itself in perfect harmony with the evidence of facts. It is able to feel that this idea does not clash with facts which speak for themselves, and to which no artificial thought need be added.
[ 10 ] One does not always observe in what beautiful harmony are the natural healthy feelings of the soul with the manifestations of nature. This may seem so self-evident as not to need any remark, and yet this seemingly insignificant fact is most illuminating. The idea that the body is dissolved into the elements has nothing unbearable in it, but on the other hand, the thought that the soul shares the fate of the body is senseless. There are many human personal reasons which prove this, but such reasons must be left out of consideration in objective investigation.
Apart from these reasons, however, thoroughly impersonal attention to the teachings of the outer world shows that no different influence upon the soul can be ascribed to this outer world before death from that which it has after death. The fact is conclusive that this idea presents itself as a necessity and holds its own against all objections which may be raised against it. Any one who thinks this thought when fully self-conscious feels its direct truth. In fact, both those who deny and those who believe in immortality think in this way. The former will probably say that the conditions of the bodily processes during life are involved in the laws which act upon the body after death; but they are mistaken if they believe that they are really capable of imagining these laws to be in a different relation to the body during life when it is the vehicle of the soul from that which prevails after death.
[ 11 ] The only idea possible in itself is that the special combination of forces which comes into existence with the body, remains quite as indifferent to the body in its character of a vehicle for the soul, as that combination of forces which produces the processes in the dead body. This indifference is not existent on the part of the soul, but on the part of the matter and the forces of the body. The soul gains experience of itself by means of the body, but the body lives with, in, and through the outer world and does not allow any more importance to the soul as such than to the processes of the outer world. One comes to the conclusion that the heat and cold of the outer world have an influence upon the circulation of the blood in our body which is analogous to that of fear and shame which exist within the soul.
[ 12 ] So, first of all, we feel within ourselves the laws of the outer world active in that special combination of materials which manifests itself as the form of the human body. We feel this body as a member of the outer world, but remain ignorant of its inner workings. External science of the present day gives some information as to how the laws of the outer world combine within that particular entity, which presents itself as the human body. We may hope that this information will grow more complete in the future. But such increasing information can make no difference whatever to the way in which the soul has to think of its relation to the body. It will, on the contrary, bring more and more into evidence that the laws of the outer world remain in the same relation to the soul before and after death. It is an illusion to expect that the progress of the knowledge of nature will show how far the bodily processes are agents of the life of the soul. We shall more and more clearly recognise that which takes place in the body during life, but the processes in question will always be felt by the soul as being outside it in the same way as the processes in the body after death.
[ 13 ] The body must therefore appear within the outer world as a combination of forces and substances, which exists by itself and is explainable by itself as a member of this outer world. Nature causes a plant to grow and again decomposes it. Nature rules the human body, and causes it to pass away within her own sphere. If man takes up his position to nature with such ideas, he is able to forget himself and all that is in him and feel his body as a member of the outer world. If he thinks in such a way of its relations to himself and to nature, he experiences in connection with himself that which we may call his physical body.
Erste Meditation
Der Meditierende versucht eine wahre Vorstellung von dein physischen Leibe zu gewinnen
[ 1 ] Wenn die Seele durch die Sinne und durch ihr Vorstellen an die Erscheinungen der Außenwelt hingegeben ist, dann kann sie bei wirklicher Selbstbesinnung nicht sagen, sie nehme diese Erscheinungen wahr, oder sie erlebe die Dinge der Außenwelt. Denn sie weiß in Wahrheit in der Zeit ihrer Hingabe an die Außenwelt nichts von sich. Das Sonnenlicht, das von den Dingen in vielartiger Farbenerscheinung sich im Raume ausbreitet, das erlebt sich eigentlich in der Seele. Freut sich die Seele über irgendeinen Vorgang, so ist sie in dem Zeitpunkte des Freuens selbst Freude, soweit sie von der Sache weiß. Die Freude erlebt sich in ihr. Die Seele ist eins mit ihrem Erleben von der Welt; sie erlebt sich nicht als etwas, das sich freut, das bewundert, das sich ergötzt oder fürchtet. Sie ist Freude, Bewunderung, Ergötzen, Furcht. Wenn sich die Seele dies immer gestehen wollte, dann erschienen ihr die Zeiten, in welchen sie von dem Erleben an der Außenwelt zurücktritt und sich selbst betrachtet, erst in dem rechten Lichte. Sie erschienen als ein Leben von ganz besondrer Art, die zunächst ganz unvergleichlich ist mit dem gewöhnlichen Seelenleben. Mit dieser besondren Art des Lebens beginnen die Rätsel des seelischen Daseins im Bewußtsein aufzutauchen. Und diese Rätsel sind im Grunde die Quelle aller andern Weltenrätsel. - Außenwelt und Innenwelt stellen sich vor den Menschengeist, wenn die Seele für kürzere oder längere Zeit aufhört mit der Außenwelt eins zu sein und sich in die Einsamkeit des Eigenseins zurückzieht.
[ 2 ] Dieses Zurückziehen ist kein einfacher Vorgang, der einmal sich vollzieht und dann etwa in derselben Art wiederholt werden könnte. Es ist vielmehr der Beginn einer Wanderung in vorher unbekannte Welten. Hat man die Wanderung begonnen, dann wird jeder Schritt, den man gemacht hat, die Veranlassung zu weiteren. Und er ist auch die Vorbereitung zu diesen weiteren. Er macht die Seele für die folgenden erst fähig. Und mit jedem Schritte erfährt man mehr über die Antwort auf die Frage: Was ist der Mensch im wahren Sinne des Wortes? Welten eröffnen sich, die vor der gewöhnlichen Lebensbetrachtung verborgen sind. Und doch liegt in ihnen allein dasjenige, was auch über diese Lebensbetrachtung die Wahrheit offenbaren kann. - Wenn auch keine Antwort eine umfassende, endgültige ist, so sind die Antworten, welche durch innere Seelenwanderschaft errungen werden, doch solche, die über alles hinausgehen, was die äußeren Sinne und der an sie gebundene Verstand geben können. Und dieses andre hat der Mensch nötig. Er bemerkt, dass dies so ist, wenn er sich wahrhaftig auf sich selbst besinnt.
[ 3 ] Zunächst sind zu dieser Wanderschaft nüchterne, trockene Überlegungen notwendig. Sie geben den sicheren Ausgangspunkt für das weitere Vordringen in die übersinnlichen Gebiete, um die es zuletzt der Seele zu tun ist. Manche Seele möchte sich diesen Ausgangspunkt ersparen und sogleich in das Übersinnliche eindringen. Eine gesunde Seele wird, selbst wenn sie durch Abneigung gegen eine solche Überlegung diese erst vermieden hat, später doch sich derselben hingeben. Denn wieviel man auch über das Übersinnliche von einem andern Ausgangspunkte her erfahren hat, sichern Boden unter sich gewinnt man nur durch Überlegungen von der Art, wie die hier zunächst folgende ist.
[ 4 ] Es können im Leben der Seele die Augenblicke kommen, in denen sie zu sich selber so spricht: Du mußt dich allem entziehen können, was dir eine Außenwelt geben kann, wenn du dir nicht ein Geständnis abpressen lassen willst, mit dem sich nicht leben läßt, nämlich du seiest nur der sich selbst erlebende Widersinn. - Was du da draußen wahrnimmst, es ist da ohne dich; es war ohne dich und wird ohne dich sein. Warum empfinden sich die Farben in dir, da dein Empfinden für sie doch bedeutungslos sein könnte? Warum bilden die Stoffe und Kräfte der Außenwelt deinen Leib? Er belebt sich zu deiner äußeren Erscheinung. Die Außenwelt gestaltet sich zu dir. Du wirst gewahr, dass du diesen Leib brauchst. Weil du ohne deine Sinne, welche nur Er dir einbilden kann, zunächst gar nicht etwas in dir erleben könntest. Du wärest, so wie du vorerst bist, leer ohne deinen Leib. Er gibt dir innere Fülle und Inhalt. - Und dann können alle die Überlegungen auftreten, ohne welche ein menschliches Dasein nicht bleiben kann, wenn es nicht in gewissen Zeiten, die für jeden Menschen kommen, mit sich in einen unerträglichen Widerspruch geraten will. Dieser Leib - er lebt so, dass er jetzt Ausdruck ist des seelischen Erlebens. Seine Vorgänge sind von der Art, dass die Seele durch ihn lebt und sich in ihm erlebt. Das wird einmal nicht so sein. Was in dem Leibe lebt, wird einmal ganz anderen Gesetzen unterworfen sein als jetzt, da es für mich verläuft, für mein seelisches Erleben. Es wird den Gesetzen unterworfen sein, nach denen Stoffe und Kräfte draußen in der Natur sich verhalten, Gesetzen, die nichts mehr mit mir und meinem Leben zu tun haben. Der Leib, dem ich mein seelisches Erleben verdanke, wird in den allgemeinen Weltverlauf aufgenommen sein und sich in demselben so verhalten, dass er mit allem, was ich in mir erlebe, nichts mehr gemeinsam haben wird.
[ 5 ] Eine solche Überlegung kann alle Schauer des Todesgedankens vor das innere Erleben bringen, ohne dass sich in diesen Eindruck die bloß persönlichen Empfindungen mischen, welche in der Seele gewöhnlich mit diesem Gedanken verbunden sind. Solche Empfindungen bewirken, dass ihm gegenüber die ruhige, gelassene Stimmung nicht leicht sich einstellt, die zur erkennenden Betrachtung notwendig ist. - Es ist nur zu begreiflich, dass der Mensch ein Wissen gewinnen will über den Tod und über ein Leben der Seele unabhängig von der Auflösung des Leibes. Die Art, wie er zu den Fragen steht, die hier in Betracht kommen, ist, wie kaum irgend etwas andres in der Welt, geeignet, den sachlichen Blick zu trüben und Antworten als gültig hinzunehmen, welche vom Wunsche eingegeben sind. Man kann aber über nichts eine wahre Erkenntnis auf geistigem Gebiete erhalten, bei dem man nicht wie ein völlig Unbeteiligter das «Nein» ebenso willig hinnimmt wie das «Ja». Und man wird nur gewissenhaft in sich selbst zu blicken brauchen, um sich völlig klar darüber zu sein, dass man nicht mit demselben Gleichmut die Erkenntnis hinnehmen würde, mit dem Tode des Leibes erlischt auch das seelische Leben, wie die andre, die von dem Fortbestand der Seele nach dem Tode spricht. Gewiß, es gibt Menschen, die völlig ehrlich an die Vernichtung der Seele mit der Auflösung des Leibeslebens glauben, und die mit einem solchen Gedanken sich ihr Leben einrichten. Doch auch für diese gilt, dass sie mit ihren Gefühlen keineswegs unbefangen diesem Gedanken gegenüberstehen. Sie lassen sich durch die Schrecken der Vernichtung allerdings nicht dazu hinreißen, die Gründe der Erkenntnis, welche für sie deutlich sprechen, von dem Wunsche übertönt zu fühlen, der nach einem Fortleben zielt. Insoferne sind die Vorstellungen solcher Menschen oft sachlicher als diejenigen der andern, welche, ohne dies zu wissen, sich Gründe für das Fortleben vorspiegeln oder vorspiegeln lassen, weil in ihren geheimen Seelengründen eben die Begierde nach solchem Fortleben brennt. Doch ist bei den Unsterblichkeitsleugnern die Befangenheit eine nicht weniger große. Sie ist nur anders geartet. Es gibt unter ihnen solche, welche sich eine gewisse Vorstellung von dem machen, was Leben und Dasein heißt. Diese Vorstellung führt sie dazu, bestimmte Bedingungen denken zu müssen, unter denen dieses Leben nur allein möglich ist. So wie sie nun das Dasein ansehen, ergibt sich ihnen, dass die Bedingungen des seelischen Lebens nicht mehr vorhanden sein können, wenn der Leib wegfällt. Solche Menschen bemerken nicht, dass sie sich erst eine bestimmte Vorstellung gebildet haben, wie Leben nur sein könne, und dass sie allein deshalb nicht glauben können, es dauere nach dem Tode fort, weil sich aus ihrer Vorstellung heraus keine Möglichkeit ergibt, sich ein leibfreies Dasein zu denken. Sie sind zwar nicht durch ihre Wünsche, wohl aber durch die Vorstellungen befangen, von denen sie nun eben nicht loskommen können. Es gibt noch viele Befangenheiten auf diesem Gebiete. Man kann immer nur einzelne Beispiele dessen anführen, was in dieser Art alles vorhanden ist.
[ 6 ] Der Gedanke, dass der Leib, in dessen Vorgängen sich die Seele auslebt, einmal der Außenwelt verfallen werd und Gesetzen folgen, die in keinem Verhältnisse stehen zum inneren Erleben, er läßt das Todeserlebnis so vor die Seele treten, dass kein Wunsch, kein persönliches Interesse sich in die Betrachtung einzumischen brauchen; dass dieses Erlebnis zu einer reinen, unpersönlichen Erkenntnisfrage führen kann. Es wird sich aber dann auch bald die Empfindung ergeben, dass der Todesgedanke nicht um seiner selbst willen bedeutsam ist, sondern deshalb, weil er Licht verbreiten kann über das Leben. Man wird zu der Ansicht kommen müssen, dass das Rätsel des Lebens zu erkennen ist durch das Wesen des Todes.
[ 7 ] Dass die Seele nach ihrer Fortdauer verlangt, sollte unter allen Umständen dazu führen, sie mißtrauisch zu machen gegen alle Meinungen, welche sie sich über diese Fortdauer bildet. Denn warum sollten sich die Tatsachen der Welt kümmern um das, was die Seele empfindet. Sie mag nach ihren Bedürfnissen sich selber sinnlos fühlen, wenn sie denken müßte, sie könnte, einer Flamme gleich, die aus dem Brennmaterial sich ergibt, aus dem Stoffe ihres Leibes aufflackern und dann wieder verlöschen. Es könnte sich dies doch so verhalten, auch wenn es als sinnlos empfunden würde. - Wenn die Seele den Blick zum Leibe wendet, so soll sie auch nur mit dem rechnen, was er ihr zeigen kann. Es scheint da, als ob in der Natur die Gesetze wirkten, welche die Stoffe und Kräfte in ein Wechselspiel bringen, und als ob diese Gesetze den Leib beherrschten, und ihn nach einiger Zeit wieder in das allgemeine Wechselspiel einbezögen.
[ 8 ] Man mag diesen Gedanken nun wenden, wie man will: er ist naturwissenschaftlich wohl brauchbar, doch er erweist sich der wahren Wirklichkeit gegenüber als ganz unmöglich. Man kann finden, dass er allein wissenschaftlich klar, nüchtern, und alles andre nur subjektiver Glaube sei; man kann sich dies wohl einbilden. Man kann es aber bei wirklicher Unbefangenheit nicht festhalten. Und darauf kommt es an. Nicht was die Seele durch ihr Wesen als notwendig empfindet, kommt in Betracht, sondern dasjenige, was die Außenwelt offenbart, welcher der Leib entnommen ist. Diese Außenwelt nimmt seine Stoffe und Kräfte nach dem Tode in sich auf. In ihr folgen sie dann Gesetzen, welchen ganz gleichgültig ist, was im menschlichen Leibe während des Lebens vorgeht. Diese Gesetze (die physischer und chemischer Art sind) stellen sich zu dem Leibe nicht anders als zu jedem andern leblosen Dinge der Außenwelt. Es ist unmöglich, etwas anderes zu denken, als dass dieses gleichgültige Verhältnis der Außenwelt zum Menschenleibe nicht erst mit dem Tode eintritt, sondern dass es auch schon während des Lebens besteht. Nicht aus dem Leben kann man eine Vorstellung gewinnen über den Anteil der sinnlichen Außenwelt an dem Menschenleibe, sondern allein dadurch, dass man denkt: alles, was da an dir ist als Träger deiner Sinne, als Vermittler von Vorgängen, durch welche deine Seele lebt, das wird von der Welt, welche du wahrnimmst, so behandelt, wie dir die Vorstellung ergibt, die über dein Leben hinaus schweift. Die damit rechnet, dass eine Zeit kommen werde, in der du alles dieses nicht mehr an dir hast, worinnen du dich jetzt erlebst. Jede andere Vorstellung über das Verhältnis der sinnlichen Außenwelt zum Leibe läßt durch sich selber erfühlen, dass sie gegenüber der Wirklichkeit nicht haltbar ist. Die Vorstellung aber, dass erst nach dem Tode der wirkliche Anteil der Außenwelt an dem Leibe zutage tritt, kommt mit nichts in Konflikt, was wahrhaft in Außenwelt und Innenwelt erlebt wird. Die Seele fühlt nichts Unerträgliches bei dem Gedanken, dass ihre Stoffe und Kräfte Vorgängen der Außenwelt verfallen, die mit ihrem eigenen Leben nichts zu tun haben. Sie kann in ihren Tiefen bei vollkommen unbefangener Hingabe an das Leben keinen aus dem Leibe aufsteigenden Wunsch entdecken, der ihr den Gedanken unbehaglich machte an die Auflösung nach dem Tode. Das Unerträgliche tritt erst dann ein, wenn die Vorstellung gebildet werden sollte, die in die Außenwelt zurückkehrenden Stoffe und Kräfte nehmen die sich erlebende Seele mit. Eine solche Vorstellung wäre aus demselben Grunde unerträglich wie jede andre, die sich nicht naturgemäß aus der Hingabe an die Offenbarung der Außenwelt ergibt.
[ 9 ] Der Außenwelt während des Lebens einen ganz andren Anteil an dem Leibesdasein zuzuerkennen als nach dem Tode, ist ein Gedanke, der aus dem Nichts hergeholt werden müßte. Als sinnloser Gedanke muß er stets vor der Wirklichkeit zurückprallen, während doch die Vorstellung ganz gesund ist, dass die Außenwelt während des Lebens ganz den gleichen Anteil an dem Leibe hat wie nach dem Tode. Die Seele fühlt sich, wenn sie den letztern Gedanken hegt, ganz im Einklange mit der Offenbarung der Tatsachen. Sie kann empfinden, dass sie durch diese Vorstellung nicht in Mißklang kommt mit den Tatsachen, die durch sich selbst sprechen, und denen kein künstlicher Gedanke hinzugefügt werden darf.
[ 10 ] Man achtet nicht immer darauf, in wie schönem Einklange das natürliche, gesunde Empfinden der Seele mit der Naturoffenbarung ist. Es könnte dies so selbstverständlich erscheinen, dass es gar keiner Beachtung wert wäre; und doch ist dies scheinbar Bedeutungslose lichtbringend. Nichts Unerträgliches hat der Gedanke, dass der Leib in die Elemente aufgelöst werde; etwas Sinnloses dagegen der andre, dass dies auch mit der Seele geschehe. Es gibt viele menschlich persönliche Gründe, welche dies als sinnlos erscheinen lassen; diese müssen von der objektiven Betrachtung unberücksichtigt gelassen werden. Die ganz unpersönliche Hingabe jedoch an das, was die Außenwelt lehrt, zeigt, dass auch während des Lebens dieser Außenwelt an der Seele kein andrer Anteil zugeschrieben werden kann als nach dem Tode. Maßgebend ist, dass dieser Gedanke sich als ein notwendiger ergibt, und dass er standhält gegenüber allen Einwänden, die man gegen ihn erheben kann. Wer ihn ganz bewußt denkt, der fühlt dieses als unmittelbare Gewißheit. In Wahrheit denken so aber sowohl Unsterblichkeitsgläubige wie Unsterblichkeitsleugner. Die letztern werden wohl sagen, in den Gesetzen, welche wirksam sind am Leibe nach dem Tode, seien auch die Bedingungen seiner Vorgänge während des Lebens enthalten; aber sie irren sich, wenn sie glauben, sich wirklich vorstellen zu können, diese Gesetze stünden während des Lebens in einem andern Verhältnisse zum Leibe als Seelen-träger als nach dem Tode.
[ 11 ] In sich möglich ist nur die Vorstellung, auch jener besondre Zusammenhang von Kräften, der mit dem Leibe in die Erscheinung tritt, stehe dem Leibe als Seelenträger genau so anteilslos gegenüber wie derjenige, welcher die Vorgänge am toten Leibe bewirkt. Nicht für die Seele ist diese Anteilslosigkeit vorhanden, wohl aber für die Stoffe und Kräfte des Leibes. Die Seele erlebt sich am Leibe; der Leib jedoch lebt mit der Außenwelt, in ihr, durch sie und läßt das Seelische für sich nicht anders maßgebend sein als die Vorgänge der Außenwelt. Man muß zu der Ansicht kommen, dass für die Blutbewegung im Leibe die Wärme und Kälte der Außenwelt so maßgebend sind, wie die Furcht oder das Schamgefühl, die sich in der Seele abspielen.
[ 12 ] So fühlt man zunächst in sich die Gesetze der Außenwelt in jenem ganz besondren Zusammenhange wirksam, der sich als die Gestaltung des Menschenleibes kundgibt. Man empfindet diesen Leib als ein Glied der Außenwelt. Aber man steht seinem innern Zusammenhang fremd gegenüber. Die äußere Wissenschaft klärt gegenwärtig zum Teil auf, wie sich die Gesetze der Außenwelt in dem ganz besondren Wesen zusammenfügen, das sich als Menschenleib darstellt. Von der Zukunft darf gehofft werden, dass diese Erkenntnis immer weiter fortschreiten werde. Wie die Seele über ihr Verhältnis zum Leibe denken muß, daran kann diese fortschreitende Erkenntnis nicht das geringste ändern. Im Gegenteil, sie wird immer klarer zeigen müssen, dass die Gesetze der Außenwelt vor und nach dem Tode in dem gleichen Verhältnisse zur Seele stehen. Es ist eine Illusion, zu erwarten, mit fortschreitender Naturerkenntnis werde aus den Gesetzen der Außenwelt sich ergeben, inwieferne die Leibesvorgänge die Vermittler des Seelenlebens sind. Man wird immer deutlicher erkennen, was im Leibe während des Lebens vorgeht; aber die entsprechenden Vorgänge werden sich stets als solche zeigen, welche die Seele als ihr äußerlich so empfindet, wie die Vorgänge am Leibe nach dem Tode.
[ 13 ] Innerhalb der Außenwelt muß daher der Leib als ein Zusammenhang von Kräften und Stoffen erscheinen, der für sich besteht und in sich erklärbar ist als Glied dieser Außenwelt. - Die Natur läßt die Pflanze entstehen; sie löst sie wieder auf. Sie beherrscht den Menschenleib und läßt ihn innerhalb ihrer Wesenheit vergehen. Stellt sich der Mensch mit einer solchen Betrachtung der Natur gegenüber, so kann er sich und alles, was in ihm ist, vergessen, und seinen Leib als Glied der Außenwelt an sich empfinden. Denkt er so über sein Verhältnis zu sich und zur Natur, so erlebt er an sich, was man seinen physischen Leib nennen kann.
First meditation
The meditator tries to gain a true idea of his physical body
[ 1 ] If the soul is devoted to the phenomena of the external world through the senses and through its imagination, then it cannot, in true introspection, say that it perceives these phenomena or that it experiences the things of the external world. For in truth it knows nothing of itself at the time of its devotion to the external world. The sunlight, which spreads out from the things in a multitude of colorful appearances in space, is actually experienced in the soul. If the soul rejoices over any process, it is itself joy at the moment of rejoicing, insofar as it knows about the thing. The joy is experienced in it. The soul is one with its experience of the world; it does not experience itself as something that rejoices, that admires, that delights or fears. It is joy, admiration, delight, fear. If the soul always wanted to admit this to itself, then the times in which it steps back from its experience of the outside world and contemplates itself would only appear to it in the right light. They would appear as a life of a very special kind, which at first is quite incomparable with the ordinary life of the soul. With this special kind of life, the riddles of the soul's existence begin to emerge in consciousness. And these riddles are basically the source of all other world riddles. - The outer world and the inner world present themselves to the human spirit when the soul ceases to be one with the outer world for a shorter or longer period of time and withdraws into the solitude of its own being.
[ 2 ] This withdrawal is not a simple process that takes place once and could then be repeated in the same way. Rather, it is the beginning of a journey into previously unknown worlds. Once you have begun the journey, every step you have taken becomes the occasion for others. And it is also the preparation for these further steps. It prepares the soul for the following ones. And with every step you take, you learn more about the answer to the question: What is man in the true sense of the word? Worlds open up that are hidden from the ordinary view of life. And yet in them alone lies that which can also reveal the truth about this contemplation of life. - Even if no answer is a comprehensive, definitive one, the answers that are gained through inner soul-walking are nevertheless those that go beyond everything that the outer senses and the intellect bound to them can give. And man needs this other thing. He realizes that this is so when he truly reflects on himself.
[ 3 ] First of all, sober, dry considerations are necessary for this journey. They provide the safe starting point for further penetration into the supersensible realms that the soul is ultimately concerned with. Some souls would like to spare themselves this starting point and immediately penetrate into the supersensible. A healthy soul, even if it has initially avoided such a consideration through aversion to it, will nevertheless give itself over to it later. For no matter how much one has learned about the supersensible from another starting point, one only gains secure ground beneath oneself through considerations of the kind that initially follow here.
[ 4 ] There may come moments in the life of the soul when it speaks to itself thus: You must be able to withdraw from everything that an outside world can give you if you do not want to be forced into a confession with which you cannot live, namely that you are only the absurdity experiencing itself. - What you perceive out there is there without you; it was without you and will be without you. Why do the colors feel themselves in you, since your feeling could be meaningless to them? Why do the substances and forces of the outside world form your body? It animates itself into your outer appearance. The outside world shapes itself into you. You realize that you need this body. Because without your senses, which only He can imagine for you, you could not experience anything in yourself to begin with. For the time being, you would be empty without your body. It gives you inner fullness and content. - And then all those considerations can arise without which a human existence cannot remain if it does not want to come into an unbearable contradiction with itself in certain times that come for every human being. This body - it lives in such a way that it is now an expression of the experience of the soul. Its processes are such that the soul lives through it and experiences itself in it. This will not be the case one day. What lives in the body will one day be subject to completely different laws than it is now, as it runs for me, for my soul's experience. It will be subject to the laws according to which substances and forces outside in nature behave, laws that no longer have anything to do with me and my life. The body, to which I owe my mental experience, will be absorbed into the general course of the world and will behave within it in such a way that it will no longer have anything in common with anything I experience within me.
[ 5 ] Such a consideration can bring all the shudders of the thought of death before the inner experience, without mixing into this impression the merely personal sensations which are usually connected with this thought in the soul. Such sensations have the effect that the calm, serene mood necessary for cognitive contemplation does not easily arise. - It is only too understandable that man wants to gain knowledge about death and about the life of the soul independently of the dissolution of the body. The way in which he approaches the questions under consideration here is, more than almost anything else in the world, apt to cloud the objective view and to accept answers as valid which are inspired by desire. But you cannot gain true knowledge in the spiritual realm unless you accept the "no" just as willingly as the "yes", like a completely uninvolved person. And one need only look conscientiously into oneself to be completely clear about the fact that one would not accept with the same equanimity the realization that with the death of the body the spiritual life also expires, like the other that speaks of the continued existence of the soul after death. Certainly, there are people who believe quite honestly in the annihilation of the soul with the dissolution of bodily life, and who arrange their lives with such a thought. But even for them it is true that their feelings are by no means unbiased in the face of this thought. However, they do not allow themselves to be carried away by the horrors of annihilation into feeling that the reasons of knowledge, which clearly speak for them, are drowned out by the desire to live on. In this respect, the ideas of such people are often more objective than those of others who, without realizing it, pretend or allow themselves to be deceived by reasons for survival because the desire for such survival burns in the secret recesses of their souls. But with the immortality deniers the bias is no less great. It is only of a different kind. There are those among them who have a certain idea of what life and existence mean. This idea leads them to think of certain conditions under which this life alone is possible. As they now look at existence, they realize that the conditions of spiritual life can no longer exist if the body ceases to exist. Such people do not realize that they have first formed a certain idea of how life can only be, and that for this reason alone they cannot believe that it continues after death, because their idea does not allow them to imagine a body-free existence. Although they are not biased by their wishes, they are biased by the ideas from which they cannot escape. There are still many biases in this area. One can only ever cite individual examples of what is present in this way.
[ 6 ] The thought that the body, in whose processes the soul lives itself out, will one day fall prey to the outer world and follow laws that bear no relation to the inner experience, allows the experience of death to come before the soul in such a way that no desire, no personal interest need interfere in the contemplation; that this experience can lead to a pure, impersonal question of knowledge. However, the feeling will soon arise that the thought of death is not significant for its own sake, but because it can shed light on life. One will have to come to the view that the riddle of life can be recognized through the essence of death.
[ 7 ] The fact that the soul desires its continuity should, under all circumstances, make it suspicious of all opinions it forms about this continuity. For why should the facts of the world care about what the soul feels? It might, according to its needs, feel itself senseless if it had to think that it could, like a flame that arises from the fuel, flare up from the material of its body and then go out again. It could behave in this way, even if it were perceived as pointless. - When the soul turns its gaze to the body, it should only reckon with what it can show it. It seems as if the laws are at work in nature, which bring the substances and forces into an interplay, and as if these laws govern the body, and after some time include it again in the general interplay.
[ 8 ] You may now turn this idea around as you like: it is certainly useful from a scientific point of view, but it proves to be quite impossible in the face of true reality. One can find that it alone is scientifically clear, sober, and that everything else is only subjective belief; one can well imagine this. But one cannot hold on to it with real impartiality. And that is what matters. It is not what the soul perceives as necessary through its nature that comes into consideration, but that which is revealed by the external world from which the body is taken. This external world absorbs its substances and forces after death. In it they then follow laws which are quite indifferent to what takes place in the human body during life. These laws (which are of a physical and chemical nature) relate to the body no differently than to any other inanimate thing in the external world. It is impossible to think otherwise than that this indifferent relationship of the external world to the human body does not only occur at death, but that it already exists during life. It is not from life that one can gain an idea of the share of the sensory outer world in the human body, but only by thinking: everything that is there in you as the carrier of your senses, as the mediator of processes through which your soul lives, is treated by the world that you perceive in the same way as your imagination, which wanders beyond your life. It reckons that a time will come in which you will no longer have all this about you in which you now experience yourself. Every other idea about the relationship of the sensory outer world to the body lets you feel by itself that it is not tenable in the face of reality. But the idea that the real part of the outer world in the body only comes to light after death does not come into conflict with anything that is truly experienced in the outer world and the inner world. The soul feels nothing unbearable at the thought that its substances and powers are subject to processes in the outer world that have nothing to do with its own life. In its depths, with completely unbiased devotion to life, it cannot discover any desire rising from the body that would make it uncomfortable at the thought of dissolution after death. The unbearable only occurs when the idea is formed that the substances and forces returning to the outer world take the experiencing soul with them. Such an idea would be unbearable for the same reason as any other that does not naturally result from the surrender to the revelation of the outside world.
[ 9 ] Giving the outside world a completely different share in the body's existence during life than after death is a thought that would have to be drawn from nothing. As a senseless thought it must always recoil from reality, whereas the idea is quite sound that the outer world has quite the same share in the body during life as after death. The soul, when it harbors the latter thought, feels itself to be entirely in harmony with the revelation of facts. It can feel that through this idea it does not come into discord with the facts, which speak for themselves and to which no artificial thought may be added.
[ 10 ] One does not always pay attention to how beautifully the natural, healthy feeling of the soul is in harmony with natural revelation. This could seem so self-evident that it would not be worthy of attention; and yet this seemingly insignificant thing is illuminating. There is nothing intolerable in the thought that the body will be dissolved into the elements; but there is something senseless in the thought that this will also happen to the soul. There are many humanly personal reasons which make this appear senseless; these must be disregarded by objective consideration. However, the completely impersonal devotion to what the outside world teaches shows that even during life no other share can be attributed to this outside world in the soul than after death. The decisive factor is that this thought arises as a necessary one and that it withstands all objections that can be raised against it. He who thinks it quite consciously feels it as an immediate certainty. In truth, however, both believers in immortality and deniers of immortality think this way. The latter will certainly say that the laws that are effective in the body after death also contain the conditions of its processes during life; but they are mistaken if they believe that they can really imagine that these laws stand in a different relationship to the body as a soul carrier during life than after death.
[ 11 ] It is only possible to imagine that the particular connection of forces that comes into manifestation with the body is just as proportionless to the body as soul carrier as the one that causes the processes in the dead body. This lack of participation does not exist for the soul, but it does for the substances and forces of the body. The soul experiences itself in the body; the body, however, lives with the external world, in it, through it, and does not allow the soul to be decisive for itself other than the processes of the external world. One must come to the conclusion that the warmth and coldness of the outside world are as decisive for the movement of blood in the body as the fear or the feeling of shame that take place in the soul.
[ 12 ] So one first feels the laws of the outside world at work in that very special context which manifests itself as the formation of the human body. One feels this body as a member of the outside world. But we are alienated from its inner context. External science is at present partly clarifying how the laws of the external world are combined in the very special being that presents itself as the human body. It is to be hoped that this knowledge will continue to advance in the future. How the soul must think about its relationship to the body cannot be changed in the slightest by this progressive realization. On the contrary, it will have to show ever more clearly that the laws of the outer world before and after death stand in the same relationship to the soul. It is an illusion to expect that, as our knowledge of nature progresses, the laws of the external world will reveal the extent to which bodily processes are the mediators of the life of the soul. One will recognize more and more clearly what takes place in the body during life; but the corresponding processes will always show themselves as such, which the soul perceives as external to it, like the processes in the body after death.
[ 13 ] Within the external world, therefore, the body must appear as a connection of forces and substances that exists for itself and is explainable in itself as a member of this external world. - Nature gives rise to the plant; it dissolves it again. It dominates the human body and allows it to decay within its being. If man faces nature with such a contemplation, he can forget himself and all that is in him, and feel his body as a member of the outside world in itself. If he thinks in this way about his relationship to himself and to nature, he experiences in himself what can be called his physical body.