The Way of Initiation
GA 10
III. The Path of Discipleship
[ 1 ] At the very beginning of course the student is directed to the Path of Reverence, and the development of the inner life. But the occult teaching also gives practical instructions by the observance of which he may learn to tread that Path and develop that inner life. These practical directions have no arbitrary basis. They rest on ancient experience and ancient wisdom, and wheresoever the ways to higher knowledge are marked out, they remain of the same nature. All genuine teachers of Occultism are in agreement as to the essential character of these rules, although they do not always express them in the same words. This difference, which is of a minor character and is more apparent than real, is due to circumstances which need not be touched on here.
[ 2 ] No teacher wishes by means of such rules to establish an ascendancy over other persons. He would not tamper with individual independence. Indeed, no one respects and cherishes human individuality more than the teachers of Occultism. It was said (in the first part of this book) that the order which embraces all Initiates was surrounded by a wall, and that two laws formed the principles by which it was upheld. Whenever the Initiate leaves this enclosure and steps forth into the world, he must submit to a third inviolable law. It is this: Keep watch over each of your actions and each of your words, in order that you may not hinder the free-will of any human being. [ 3 ] Those who recognise that genuine occult teachers are thoroughly permeated with this principle will understand that they need sacrifice none of their independence by the practical directions which they are advised to follow.
[ 4 ] One of the first of these rules may be thus expressed in our language: “Provide for yourself moments of inward calm, and in these moments learn to distinguish between the real and the unreal.” I say advisedly “expressed in our language,” because originally all rules and teachings of occult science were expressed in a symbolical sign-language. Those who desire to master its whole scope and meaning must first obtain permission to learn this symbolical language, and before this permission can be obtained, it is necessary to have taken the first steps in occult knowledge. This may be achieved by the careful observance of such rules as are here given. The Path stands open to all who earnestly will to enter it.
[ 5 ] Simple, in truth, is the rule concerning moments of inner calm, and easy it is to follow; but it only leads to the goal when the pursuit is as earnest and strict as the way is simple. I will, therefore, state without further preamble the method in which this rule should be observed.
[ 6 ] The student must mark off a small part of his daily life in which to occupy himself with something quite different from the avocations of his ordinary life, and the way in which he occupies himself at such a time must also differ from the way in which he performs the rest of his duties. But this does not mean that what he does in the time thus set apart has no connection with his daily work. On the contrary, the man who seeks such moments in the right way will soon find that it is just this which gives him the full power to do his daily task. Nor must it be supposed that the observance of this rule really deprives anyone of time needed for the performance of his duties. If any person really has no more time at his disposal, five minutes a day will suffice. The real point is the manner in which these five minutes are spent.
[ 7 ] At these periods a man should raise himself completely above his work-a-day life. His thoughts and feelings must take on a different colouring. His joys and sorrows, his cares, experiences, and actions, must pass in review before his soul. And he must cultivate a frame of mind which enables him to regard all his other experiences from a higher point of view. We need only bear in rind how different is the point of view from which in ordinary life we regard the experiences and actions of another, and that from which we judge our own. This is inevitable, for we are interwoven with our own actions and experiences, while we only contemplate those of another. Our aim in these moments of retirement must be to contemplate and judge our own experiences and actions as though it were not ourselves but some other person to whom they applied. Suppose, for example, that a certain misfortune has befallen someone. What a different attitude that person takes towards it as compared with an identical misfortune that has befallen his neighbour! No one can blame this attitude as unjustifiable; it is a part of human nature. And just as it is in exceptional circumstances, so it is also in the daily affairs of life. The student must endeavour to attain the power of regarding himself at certain tines as he would regard a stranger. He must contemplate himself with the inward calm of the critic. When this is attained, our own experiences present themselves in a new light. As long as we are interwoven with them and are, as it were, inside them, we are as closely connected with the unreal as with the real. When we attain to a calm survey, the real is separated from the unreal. Sorrow and joy, every thought, every resolve, appear changed when we contemplate ourselves in this way. It is as though we had spent the whole day in a place where we saw the smallest objects at the same range of vision as the largest ones, and in the evening climbed a neighbouring hill and surveyed the whole scene at once. Then the parts of the place take on proportions different from those they bore when seen from within. The value of such calm inward contemplation depends less on the actual thing we contemplate than on the power which such inward calm develops in us.
[ 8 ] For in every human being there is, besides what we call the work-a-day man, a higher being. This higher being remains concealed until it is awakened. And each of us can only awaken it for himself. But as long as this higher being is not awakened, the higher faculties which lie dormant in every man and lead to supersensual knowledge, must remain hidden. This power which leads to inward calm is a magic force that sets free certain higher faculties. [ 9 ] Until a seeker feels this magic force within him, he must continue to follow strictly and earnestly the rule here given. To every man who thus perseveres, the day will come when a spiritual light is revealed to him, and a whole new world, whose existence was hitherto unsuspected, is discerned by an eye within him.
[ 10 ] Because he begins to follow this rule, there is no need for any outward change in the life of the student. He performs his duties as before, and at first he endures the same sorrows and experiences the same joys as of old. In no way does it estrange him from life, rather is he enabled to devote himself to it the more completely, because in the moments set apart he has a Higher Life of his own. Gradually this Higher Life will make its influence felt on the ordinary life. The calm of the moments set apart will influence the ordinary existence as well. The whole man will grow calmer, will attain serenity in all his actions, and will cease to be perturbed by all manner of incidents. Gradually will a student who thus advances guide himself more and more, and be less directed by circumstances and external influences. Such a man will soon discover how great a source of strength lies for him in these periods of contemplation. He will cease to be worried by things that formerly worried him; and countless matters that used to inspire him with fear will cease to alarm him. He acquires a new outlook on life. Formerly he may have taken up this or that task with a sense of timidity. He would say: “I lack the power to do this as well as I could wish.” Now he no longer admits such a thought but, instead of it, one quite different. He now says to himself: “I will summon up all my strength so as to do my work as well as I possibly can.” And he suppresses the thought which encourages timidity; for he knows that this very timidity might spoil his undertaking, and that at any rate it can contribute nothing to the improvement of his labour. And thus one thought after another, each fraught with advantage to his whole life, begins to penetrate the student's outlook. They take the place of those that had a hampering and weakening effect. He begins to steer his own ship with a firm, secure course among the waves of life, which formerly tossed it helplessly to and fro.
[ 11 ] And this calm and serenity react, on the whole being. They assist the growth of the inner man, and of those inner faculties which lead to the higher knowledge. For it is by his progress in this direction that the student gradually attains to a state in which he himself determines the manner in which the impressions of the external world shall affect him, Thus, he may hear a word, spoken with the object of wounding or vexing him. Before he began his occult studies it would indeed have wounded or vexed him. But now that he treads the Path of Discipleship, he is able to take from it the sting which gives it the power to hurt, before ever it enters his consciousness. Take another example: we naturally grow impatient when we are kept waiting, but the student is so permeated in his moments of calm with the realisation of the uselessness of impatience, that this feeling is present with him on every such occasion. The impatience which would naturally overcome him vanishes, and an interval which would otherwise have been wasted in the expression of impatience, may be utilised by making some, profitable observation during the period of waiting.
[ 12 ] Now we must realise the significance of these facts. We must remember that the “Higher Being” in a man is in constant development, and only the state of calm and serenity here described renders an orderly development possible. The waves of outward life press in upon the inner man from all sides, if, instead of controlling this outward life, he is controlled by it. Such a man is like a plant which tries to expand in a cleft in the rock, and is stunted in its growth until new space is given it. No outward forces can supply space for the inner man; it can only be supplied by the inner calm which he may give to his soul. Outward circumstances can only alter the course of his outward life; they can never awaken the spiritual, inner man. The student must himself give birth to the new and higher man within him.
[ 13 ] The higher man becomes the “inner Ruler,” who directs the circumstances of the outer man with sure guidance. As long as the latter has the upper hand, this inner man is enslaved, and therefore cannot develop his powers. If another than myself has the power to make me angry, I am not master of myself, or, to put it better, I have not yet found “the Ruler within me.” I must develop the power within of letting the impressions of the outer world approach me only in the way in which I myself choose; then only do I really become an occult student. And only by earnestly striving after this power can a student reach the goal. It is not of so much importance to achieve a great deal in a given time, as to be earnest in the search. Many have striven for years without noticing any marked advance; but many of those who did not despair, and struggled on undaunted, have sometimes quite suddenly achieved the “inner victory.”
[ 14 ] In many situations it requires a good deal of effort to achieve these moments of inward calm. But the greater the effort needed, the more important is the achievement. In esoteric studies, everything depends on the energy, inward truthfulness, and uncompromising sincerity with which we contemplate ourselves and our actions from the standpoint of complete strangers.
[ 15 ] But only one side of the student's inner activity is characterised by this birth of his own higher being. Something else is needed in addition. Even if a man regards himself as a stranger, it is only himself that he contemplates; he looks at those experiences and actions with which he is connected through his particular mode of life, and it is necessary for him to rise above this, and attain to a purely human point of view, no longer connected with his own individual circumstances. He must pass on to the contemplation of those things which concern him as a human being, even though he himself dwell in a different condition and different circumstances. In this way something is brought to birth within him which rises beyond the personal point of view. Thus his gaze is directed to higher worlds than those he knows in every-day life. And then he begins to feel and realise that he belongs to these higher worlds about which his senses and his daily occupations can tell him nothing. In this way he shifts the central point of his being to the inner part of his nature. He listens to the voices within him which speak to him in his moments of calm; and inwardly he cultivates an intercourse with the spiritual world. He is removed from the every-day world, and no longer hears its voices. All around him there is silence. He puts away from him all his external surroundings, and everything which even reminds him of such external impressions. His entire soul is filled with calm inward contemplation and converse with the purely spiritual world. This calm contemplation must become a necessity to the student. He is plunged completely in a world of thoughts. He must develop an earnest desire for such calm thinking. He must learn to love the in-pouring of the spirit. He will soon cease to regard this thought-world as more unreal than the everyday things which surround him. He begins to deal with his thoughts as with things existing in space. He discovers that this thought-world is an expression of life. He realises that thoughts are not mere phantoms, but that through them beings speak to him who were hidden before. He begins to hear voices speak to him through the silence. Formerly his ear was the only organ of hearing; now he can listen with his soul. An inner language and an inner voice are revealed to him. It is a moment of the supremest ecstasy to the student when this experience first comes to him. An inner light floods the whole external world for him, and he is “born anew.” Through his being passes a current from a divine world, bringing with it divine bliss.
[ 16 ] This thought-life of the soul, which is gradually widened into a life of spiritual being, is designated by the Gnosis and by Theosophy as meditation (contemplative thought). This meditation is the means by which super-sensual knowledge is attained. But during such moments the student must not be content to give himself up to the luxury of sensation. He must not permit undefined feelings to take possession of his soul. That would only hinder him from attaining true spiritual knowledge. His thoughts must be clearly and sharply defined, and he will be helped in this by not allowing himself to be carried away blindly by the thoughts that spring up within him. Rather must he permeate his mind with the lofty thoughts which originated with advanced students to whom inspiration has already come. Let him first of all study those writings which themselves originated in such moments of meditation. The student will find such in the mystical, gnostic, and theosophical literature of our time, and will there gain the material for his meditation. Wise men have themselves inscribed in these books the thoughts of divine science, or have proclaimed them to the world through their agents.
[ 17 ] Such meditation produces a complete transformation in the student. He begins to form entirely new conceptions of Reality. All things acquire fresh values in his eyes. And it cannot be declared too often that this transformation does not estrange him from actuality, or remove him from his daily round of duties. For then he knows that his labour and his suffering are given and endured for the sake of a great spiritual cosmic whole. Thus, instead of weariness, his meditation gives him strength to live.
[ 18 ] With firm step the student passes through life. No matter what it may bring him, he goes forward erect. In the past he knew not why he worked and suffered, but now he knows. It is obvious that such meditation is more likely to lead to the goal, if conducted under the direction of experienced persons, who know actually how everything may best be done. We should, therefore, seek the advice and direction of such experienced guides (Gurus they are called in certain schools of thought). What would else be mere uncertain groping is transformed by such direction into work that is sure of its goal. Those who apply to the teachers possessed of such knowledge and experience will never apply in vain. Only they must be quite clear that it is the advice of a friend they desire, not the domination of a would-be ruler. Those who really know are always the most modest of men, and nothing is further from their nature than what is called the passion for power.
[ 19 ] Those who, by means of meditation, rise to that which unites man with spirit, are bringing to life within them the eternal element which is limited by neither birth nor death.. Only those who have had no experience of it themselves can doubt the existence of this eternal element. Thus meditation becomes the way by which man also attains to the recognition and contemplation of his eternal, indestructible, essential being. And only through meditation can one attain to such a view of life. Gnosis and Theosophy tell of the eternal nature of this essential being, and of its reincarnation. The question is often asked: “Why does a man know nothing of those experiences which lie beyond the borders of birth and death?” Not thus should we ask, but rather: “How may we attain to such knowledge?” The entrance to the Path is opened by right meditation.. This alone can revive the memory of events that lie beyond the borders of birth and death. Everyone can attain to this knowledge; in each of us is the faculty of recognising and contemplating for ourselves the truths of Mysticism, Theosophy, and Gnosis; but the right means must be chosen. Only a being with ears and eyes can perceive tones and colours, nor can the eye perceive, if the light by which things are visible be wanting. Occult science gives the means of developing the spiritual ears and eyes, and kindling the spiritual light. There are, according to esoteric teachers, three steps by which the goal may be attained: 1, Probation. This develops the spiritual senses. 2. Enlightenment. This kindles the spiritual light. 3. Initiation. This establishes intercourse with the higher spiritual beings.
[ 20 ] The following teachings proceed from a secret tradition, but precise information concerning its nature and its name cannot be given at present. They refer to the three steps which, in the school of this tradition, lead to a certain degree of initiation. But here we shall find only so much of this tradition as may be openly declared. These teachings are extracted from a much deeper and more secret doctrine. In the occult schools themselves a definite course of instruction is followed, and in addition to this there are certain practices which enable the souls of men to attain a conscious intercourse with the spiritual world. These practices bear about the same relation to what will be imparted in the following pages, as the teaching which is given in a well-disciplined school bears to the instruction that may be received occasionally during a walk. And yet the ardent and persevering pursuit of what is here hinted at will lead to the way by which one obtains access to a genuine occult school. But, of course, an impatient perusal, devoid of sincerity and perseverance, can lead to nothing at all. He who believes himself to be ready for more must apply to an occult teacher. The study of these things can only be successful if the student will observe what has already been written in previous chapters.
[ 21 ] The stages which the above-mentioned tradition specifies are the following three:
- Probation
- Enlightenment
- Initiation
It is not altogether necessary that these three stages should be so taken that one must have quite completed the first before beginning the second, nor, this in its turn before beginning the third. With respect to certain things one can partake of Enlightenment, and even of Initiation, while as regards others one is still in the probationary stage. Yet it will-be necessary to spend a certain time in this stage of Probation before any Enlightenment at all can begin, and at least in some respects one must have been enlightened before it is even possible to enter upon the stage of Initiation. But in giving an account of them it is necessary, for the sake of clearness, that the three stages follow one another.
Innere Ruhe
[ 1 ] Auf den Pfad der Verehrung und auf die Entwickelung des inneren Lebens wird der Geheimschüler im Anfange seiner Laufbahn gewiesen. Die Geisteswissenschaft gibt nun auch praktische Regeln an die Hand, durch deren Beobachtung der Pfad betreten, das innere Leben entwickelt werden kann. Diese praktischen Regeln entstammen nicht der Willkür. Sie beruhen auf uralten Erfahrungen und uraltem Wissen. Sie werden überall in der gleichen Art gegeben, wo die Wege zur höheren Erkenntnis gewiesen werden. Alle wahren Lehrer des geistigen Lebens stimmen in bezug auf den Inhalt dieser Regeln überein, wenn sie dieselben auch nicht immer in die gleichen Worte kleiden. Die untergeordnete, eigentlich nur scheinbare Verschiedenheit rührt von Tatsachen her, welche hier nicht zu besprechen sind.
[ 2 ] Kein Lehrer des Geisteslebens will durch solche Regeln eine Herrschaft über andere Menschen ausüben. Er will niemand in seiner Selbständigkeit beeinträchtigen. Denn es gibt keine besseren Schätzer und Hüter der menschlichen Selbständigkeit als die Geheimforscher. Es ist (im vorigen Kapitel) gesagt worden, das Band, das alle Eingeweihten umfaßt, sei ein geistiges, und zwei naturgemäße Gesetze bilden die Klammern, welche die Bestandteile dieses Bandes zusammenhalten. Tritt nun der Eingeweihte aus seinem umschlossenen Geistgebiet heraus, vor die Öffentlichkeit: dann kommt für ihn sogleich ein drittes Gesetz in Betracht. Es ist dieses: Richte jede deiner Taten, jedes deiner Worte so ein, daß durch dich in keines Menschen freien Willensentschluß eingegriffen wird.
[ 3 ] Wer durchschaut hat, daß ein wahrer Lehrer des Geisteslebens ganz von dieser Gesinnung durchdrungen ist, der kann auch wissen, daß er nichts von seiner Selbständigkeit einbüßt. wenn er den praktischen Regeln folgt, die ihm geboten werden.
[ 4 ] Eine der ersten dieser Regeln kann nun etwa in die folgenden Worte der Sprache gekleidet werden: «Schaffe dir Augenblicke innerer Ruhe und lerne in diesen Augenblicken das Wesentliche von dem Unwesentlichen unterscheiden.» – Es wird hier gesagt, diese praktische Regel laute so in «Worte der Sprache gefaßt». Ursprünglich werden nämlich alle Regeln und Lehren der Geisteswissenschaft in einer sinnbildlichen Zeichensprache gegeben. Und wer ihre ganze Bedeutung und Tragweite kennenlernen will, der muß erst diese sinnbildliche Sprache sich zum Verständnis bringen. Dieses Verständnis ist davon abhängig, daß der Betreffende bereits die ersten Schritte in der Geheimwissenschaft getan hat. Diese Schritte aber kann er durch die genaue Beobachtung solcher Regeln gehen, wie sie hier gegeben werden. Jedem steht der Weg offen, der ernstliches Wollen hat.
[ 5 ] Einfach ist die obige Regel bezüglich der Augenblicke der inneren Ruhe. Und einfach ist auch ihre Befolgung. Aber zum Ziele führt sie nur, wenn sie ebenso ernst und streng angefaßt wird, wie sie einfach ist. – Ohne Umschweife soll daher hier auch gesagt werden, wie diese Regel zu befolgen ist.
[ 6 ] Der Geheimschüler hat sich eine kurze Zeit von seinem täglichen Leben auszusondern, um sich in dieser Zeit mit etwas ganz anderem zu befassen, als die Gegenstände seiner täglichen Beschäftigung sind. Und auch die Art seiner Beschäftigung muß eine ganz andere sein als diejenige, mit der er den übrigen Tag ausfüllt. Das ist aber nicht so zu verstehen, als ob dasjenige, was er in dieser ausgesonderten Zeit vollbringt, nichts zu tun habe mit dem Inhalt seiner täglichen Arbeit. Im Gegenteil: der Mensch, der solche abgesonderten Augenblicke in der rechten Art sucht, wird bald bemerken, daß er durch sie erst die volle Kraft zu seiner Tagesaufgabe erhält. Auch darf nicht geglaubt werden, daß die Beobachtung dieser Regel jemandem wirklich Zeit von seiner Pflichtenleistung entziehen könne. Wenn jemand wirklich nicht mehr Zeit zur Verfügung haben sollte, so genügen fünf Minuten jeden Tag. Es kommt darauf an, wie diese fünf Minuten angewendet werden.
[ 7 ] In dieser Zeit soll der Mensch sich vollständig herausreißen aus seinem Alltagsleben. Sein Gedanken-, sein Gefühlsleben soll da eine andere Färbung erhalten, als sie sonst haben. Er soll seine Freuden, seine Leiden, seine Sorgen, seine Erfahrungen, seine Taten vor seiner Seele vorbeiziehen lassen. Und er soll sich dabei so stellen, daß er alles das, was er sonst erlebt, von einem höheren Gesichtspunkte aus ansieht. Man denke nur einmal daran, wie man im gewöhnlichen Leben etwas ganz anders ansieht, was ein anderer erlebt oder getan hat, als was man selbst erlebt oder getan hat. Das kann nicht anders sein. Denn mit dem, was man selbst erlebt oder tut, ist man verwoben; das Erlebnis oder die Tat eines anderen betrachtet man nur. Was man in den ausgesonderten Augenblicken anzustreben hat, ist nun, die eigenen Erlebnisse und Taten so anzuschauen, so zu beurteilen, als ob man sie nicht selbst, sondern als ob sie ein anderer erlebt oder getan hätte. Man stelle sich einmal vor: jemand habe einen schweren Schicksalsschlag erlebt. Wie anders steht er dem gegenüber als einem ganz gleichen Schicksalsschlage bei seinem Mitmenschen? Niemand kann das für unberechtigt halten. Es liegt in der menschlichen Natur. Und ähnlich wie in solchen außergewöhnlichen Fällen ist es in den alltäglichen Angelegenheiten des Lebens. Der Geheimschüler muß die Kraft suchen, sich selbst in gewissen Zeiten wie ein Fremder gegenüberzustehen. Mit der inneren Ruhe des Beurteilers muß er sich selbst entgegentreten. Erreicht man das, dann zeigen sich einem die eigenen Erlebnisse in einem neuen Lichte. Solange man in sie verwoben ist, solange man in ihnen steht, hängt man mit dem Unwesentlichen ebenso zusammen wie mit dem Wesentlichen. Kommt man zur inneren Ruhe des Überblicks, dann sondert sich das Wesentliche von dem Unwesentlichen. Kummer und Freude, jeder Gedanke, jeder Entschluß erscheinen anders, wenn man sich so selbst gegenübersteht. Es ist, wie wenn man den ganzen Tag hindurch in einem Orte sich aufgehalten hat und das Kleinste ebenso nahe gesehen hat wie das Größte; dann des Abends auf einen benachbarten Hügel steigt und den ganzen Ort auf einmal überschaut. Da erscheinen die Teile dieses Ortes in anderen gegenseitigen Verhältnissen, als wenn man darinnen ist. Mit gegenwärtig erlebten Schicksalsfügungen wird und braucht dies nicht zu gelingen; mit länger vergangenen muß es vom Schüler des Geisteslebens erstrebt werden. – Der Wert solcher inneren, ruhigen Selbstschau hängt viel weniger davon ab, was man dabei erschaut, als vielmehr davon, daß man in sich die Kraft findet, die solche innere Ruhe entwickelt.
[ 8 ] Denn jeder Mensch trägt neben seinem – wir wollen ihn so nennen – Alltagsmenschen in seinem Innern noch einen höheren Menschen. Dieser höhere Mensch bleibt so lange verborgen, bis er geweckt wird. Und jeder kann diesen höheren Menschen nur selbst in sich erwecken. Solange aber dieser höhere Mensch nicht erweckt ist, so lange bleiben auch die in jedem Menschen schlummernden höheren Fähigkeiten verborgen, die zu übersinnlichen Erkenntnissen führen.
[ 9 ] Solange jemand die Frucht der inneren Ruhe nicht fühlt, muß er sich eben sagen, daß er in der ernsten strengen Befolgung der angeführten Regel fortfahren muß. Für jeden, der so verfährt, kommt der Tag, wo es um ihn herum geistig hell wird, wo sich einem Auge, das er bis dahin in sich nicht gekannt hat, eine ganz neue Welt erschließen wird.
[ 10 ] Und nichts braucht sich im äußeren Leben des Geheimschülers zu ändern dadurch, daß er anfängt, diese Regel zu befolgen. Er geht seinen Pflichten nach wie vorher; er duldet dieselben Leiden und erlebt dieselben Freuden zunächst wie vorher. In keiner Weise kann er dadurch dem «Leben» entfremdet werden. Ja, er kann um so voller den übrigen Tag hindurch diesem «Leben» nachgehen, weil er in seinen ausgesonderten Augenblicken ein«höheres Leben» sich aneignet. Nach und nach wird dieses «höhere Leben» schon seinen Einfluß auf das gewöhnliche geltend machen. Die Ruhe der ausgesonderten Augenblicke wird ihre Wirkung auch auf den Alltag haben. Der ganze Mensch wird ruhiger werden, wird Sicherheit bei seinen Handlungen gewinnen, wird nicht mehr aus der Fassung gebracht werden können durch alle möglichen Zwischenfälle. Allmählich wird sich solch angehender Geheimschüler sozusagen immer mehr selbst leiten und weniger von den Umständen und äußeren Einflüssen leiten lassen. Ein solcher Mensch wird bald bemerken, was für eine Kraftquelle solche ausgesonderte Zeitabschnitte für ihn sind. Er wird anfangen, sich über Dinge nicht mehr zu ärgern, über die er sich vorher geärgert hat, unzählige Dinge, die er vorher gefürchtet hat, hören auf, ihm Befürchtungen zu machen. Eine ganz neue Lebensauffassung eignet er sich an. Vorher ging er vielleicht zaghaft an diese oder jene Verrichtung. Er sagte sich: Oh, meine Kraft reicht nicht aus, dies so zu machen, wie ich es gerne gemacht hätte. Jetzt kommt ihm nicht mehr dieser Gedanke, sondern vielmehr ein ganz anderer. Nunmehr sagt er sich nämlich: Ich will alle Kraft zusammennehmen, um meine Sache so gut zu machen, als ich nur irgend kann. Und den Gedanken, der ihn zaghaft machen könnte, unterdrückt er. Denn er weiß, daß ihn eben die Zaghaftigkeit zu einer schlechten Leistung veranlassen könnte, daß jedenfalls diese Zaghaftigkeit nichts beitragen kann zur Verbesserung dessen, was ihm obliegt. Und so ziehen Gedanke nach Gedanke in die Lebensauffassung des Geheimschülers ein, die fruchtbar, förderlich sind für sein Leben. Sie treten an die Stelle von solchen, die ihm hinderlich, schwächend waren. Er fängt an, sein Lebensschiff einen sicheren, festen Gang zu führen innerhalb der Wogen des Lebens, während es vorher von diesen Wogen hin und her geschlagen worden ist.
[ 11 ] Und solche Ruhe und Sicherheit wirken auch auf das ganze menschliche Wesen zurück. Der innere Mensch wächst dadurch. Und mit ihm wachsen jene inneren Fähigkeiten, welche zu den höheren Erkenntnissen führen. Denn durch seine in dieser Richtung gemachten Fortschritte gelangt der Geheimschüler allmählich dahin, daß er selbst bestimmt, wie die Eindrücke der Außenwelt auf ihn einwirken dürfen. Er hört zum Beispiel ein Wort, durch das ein anderer ihn verletzen oder ärgern will. Vor seiner Geheimschülerschaft wäre er auch verletzt worden oder hätte sich geärgert. Da er nun den Pfad der Geheimschülerschaft betreten hat, ist er imstande, dem Worte seinen verletzenden oder ärgerlichen Stachel zu nehmen, bevor es den Weg zu seinem Inneren gefunden hat. Oder ein anderes Beispiel. Ein Mensch wird leicht ungeduldig, wenn er warten soll. Er betritt den Pfad des Geheimschülers. Er durchdringt sich in seinen Augenblicken der Ruhe so sehr mit dem Gefühl von der Zwecklosigkeit vieler Ungeduld, daß er fortan bei jeder erlebten Ungeduld sofort dieses Gefühl gegenwärtig hat. Die Ungeduld, die sich schon einstellen wollte, verschwindet, und eine Zeit, die sonst verlorengegangen wäre unter den Vorstellungen der Ungeduld, wird vielleicht ausgefüllt von einer nützlichen Beobachtung, die während des Wartens gemacht werden kann.
[ 12 ] Nun muß man sich nur die Tragweite von alledem vergegenwärtigen. Man bedenke, daß der «höhere Mensch» im Menschen in fortwährender Entwickelung ist. Durch die beschriebene Ruhe und Sicherheit wird ihm aber allein eine gesetzmäßige Entwickelung ermöglicht. Die Wogen des äußeren Lebens zwängen den inneren Menschen von allen Seiten ein, wenn der Mensch nicht dieses Leben beherrscht, sondern von ihm beherrscht wird. Ein solcher Mensch ist wie eine Pflanze, die sich in einer Felsspalte entwickeln soll. Sie verkümmert so lange, bis man ihr Raum schafft. Dem inneren Menschen können keine äußeren Kräfte Raum schaffen. Das vermag nur die innere Ruhe, die er seiner Seele schafft. Äußere Verhältnisse können nur seine äußere Lebenslage ändern; den «geistigen Menschen» in ihm können sie nie und nimmer erwecken. – In sich selbst muß der Geheimschüler einen neuen, einen höheren Menschen gebären.
[ 13 ] Dieser «höhere Mensch» wird dann der «innere Herrscher», der mit sicherer Hand die Verhältnisse des äußeren Menschen führt. Solange der äußere Mensch die Oberhand und Leitung hat, ist dieser «innere» sein Sklave und kann daher seine Kräfte nicht entfalten. Hängt es von etwas anderem als von mir ab, ob ich mich ärgere oder nicht, so bin ich nicht Herr meiner selbst, oder noch besser gesagt : ich habe den «Herrscher in mir» noch nicht gefunden. Ich muß in mir die Fähigkeit entwickeln, die Eindrücke der Außenwelt nur in einer durch mich selbst bestimmten Weise an mich herankommen zu lassen; dann kann ich erst Geheimschüler werden. Und nur insoweit der Geheimschüler ernstlich nach dieser Kraft sucht, kann er zum Ziel kommen. Es kommt nicht darauf an, wie weit es einer in einer bestimmten Zeit bringt; sondern allein darauf, daß er ernstlich sucht. Schon manchen hat es gegeben, der jahrelang sich angestrengt hat, ohne an sich einen merklichen Fortschritt zu bemerken; viele von denen aber, die nicht verzweifelt, sondern unerschütterlich geblieben sind, haben dann ganz plötzlich den «inneren Sieg» errungen.
[ 14 ] Es gehört gewiß in mancher Lebenslage eine große Kraft dazu, sich Augenblicke innerer Ruhe zu schaffen. Aber je größer die notwendige Kraft, desto bedeutender ist auch das, was erreicht wird. Alles hängt in bezug auf die Geheimschülerschaft davon ab, daß man energisch, mit innerer Wahrheit und rückhaltloser Aufrichtigkeit sich selbst, mit allen seinen Handlungen und Taten, als ein völlig Fremder gegenüberstehen kann.
[ 15 ] Aber nur eine Seite der inneren Tätigkeit des Geheimschülers ist durch diese Geburt des eigenen höheren Menschen gekennzeichnet. Es muß dazu noch etwas anderes kommen. Wenn sich nämlich der Mensch auch selbst als ein Fremder gegenübersteht, so betrachtet er doch nur sich selbst; er sieht auf diejenigen Erlebnisse und Handlungen, mit denen er durch seine besondere Lebenslage verwachsen ist. Er muß darüber hinauskommen. Er muß sich erheben zu einem rein Menschlichen, das nichts mehr mit seiner besonderen Lage zu tun hat. Er muß zu einer Betrachtung derjenigen Dinge übergehen, die ihn als Mensch etwas angingen, auch wenn er unter ganz anderen Verhältnissen, in einer ganz anderen Lage lebte. Dadurch lebt in ihm etwas auf, was über das Persönliche hinausragt. Er richtet damit den Blick in höhere Welten, als diejenigen sind, mit denen ihn der Alltag zusammenführt. Und damit beginnt der Mensch zu fühlen, zu erleben, daß er solchen höheren Welten angehört. Es sind das Welten, über die ihm seine Sinne, seine alltägliche Beschäftigung nichts sagen können. So erst verlegt er den Mittelpunkt seines Wesens in sein Inneres. Er hört auf die Stimmen in seinem Innern, die in den Augenblicken der Ruhe zu ihm sprechen; er pflegt im Innern Umgang mit der geistigen Welt. Er ist dem Alltag entrückt. Der Lärm dieses Alltags ist für ihn verstummt. Es ist um ihn herum still geworden. Er weist alles ab, was ihn an solche Eindrücke von außen erinnert. Die ruhige Beschaulichkeit im Innern, die Zwiesprache mit der rein geistigen Welt füllt seine ganze Seele aus. – Ein natürliches Lebensbedürfnis muß dem Geheimschüler solche stille Beschaulichkeit werden. Er ist zunächst ganz in eine Gedankenwelt versenkt. Er muß für diese stille Gedankentätigkeit ein lebendiges Gefühl entwickeln. Er muß lieben lernen, was ihm der Geist da zuströmt. Bald hört er dann auch auf, diese Gedankenwelt als etwas zu empfinden, was unwirklicher sei als die Dinge des Alltags, die ihn umgeben. Er fängt an, mit seinen Gedanken umzugehen wie mit den Dingen im Raume. Und dann naht für ihn auch der Augenblick, indem er das, was sich ihm in der Stille innerer Gedankenarbeit offenbart, als viel höher, wirklicher zu fühlen beginnt als die Dinge im Raume. Er erfährt, daß sich Leben in dieser Gedankenwelt ausspricht. Er sieht ein, daß sich in Gedanken nicht bloße Schattenbilder ausleben, sondern, daß durch sie verborgene Wesenheiten zu ihm sprechen. Es fängt an, aus der Stille heraus zu ihm zu sprechen. Vorher hat es nur durch sein Ohr zu ihm getönt; jetzt tönt es durch seine Seele. Eine innere Sprache – ein inneres Wort – hat sich ihm erschlossen. Beseligt im höchsten Grade fühlt sich der Geheimschüler, wenn er diesen Augenblick zum ersten Male erlebt. Über seine ganze äußere Welt ergießt sich ein inneres Licht. Ein zweites Leben beginnt für ihn. Der Strom einer göttlichen, einer gottbeseligenden Welt ergießt sich durch ihn.
[ 16 ] Solches Leben der Seele in Gedanken, das sich immer mehr erweitert zu einem Leben in geistiger Wesenheit, nennt die Gnosis, die Geisteswissenschaft Meditation (beschauliches Nachdenken). Diese Meditation ist das Mittel zu übersinnlicher Erkenntnis. – Aber nicht schwelgen in Gefühlen soll der Geheimschüler in solchen Augenblicken. Er soll nicht unbestimmte Empfindungen in seiner Seele haben. Das würde ihn nur hindern, zu wahrer geistiger Erkenntnis zu kommen. Klar, scharf, bestimmt sollen sich seine Gedanken gestalten. Dazu wird er einen Anhalt finden, wenn er sich nicht blind an die Gedanken hält, die ihm aufsteigen. Er soll sich vielmehr mit den hohen Gedanken durchdringen, welche vorgeschrittene, schon vom Geist erfaßte Menschen in solchen Augenblicken gedacht haben. Er soll zum Ausgangspunkte die Schriften nehmen, die selbst solcher Offenbarung in der Meditation entsprossen sind. In der mystischen, in der gnostischen, in der geisteswissenschaftlichen Literatur von heute findet der Geheimschüler solche Schriften. Da ergeben sich ihm die Stoffe zu seiner Meditation. Die Geistsucher haben selbst in solchen Schriften die Gedanken der göttlichen Wissenschaft niedergelegt; der Geist hat durch seine Boten sie der Welt verkündigen lassen.
[ 17 ] Durch solche Meditation geht eine völlige Verwandlung mit dem Geheimschüler vor. Er fängt an, über die Wirklichkeit ganz neue Vorstellungen sich zu bilden. Alle Dinge erhalten für ihn einen anderen Wert. Immer wieder muß es gesagt werden: nicht weltfremd wird der Geheimschüler durch solche Wandlung. Er wird auf keinen Fall seinem alltäglichen Pflichtenkreis entfremdet. Denn er lernt einsehen, daß die geringste Handlung, die er zu vollbringen hat, das geringste Erlebnis, das sich ihm darbietet, im Zusammenhang stehen mit den großen Weltwesenheiten und Weltereignissen. Wird ihm dieser Zusammenhang durch seine beschaulichen Augenblicke erst klar, dann geht er mit neuer vollerer Kraft in seinen täglichen Wirkungskreis. Denn jetzt weiß er: was er arbeitet, was er leidet, das arbeitet, leidet er um eines großen, geistigen Weltzusammenhanges willen. Kraft zum Leben, nicht Lässigkeit quillt aus der Meditation.
[ 18 ] Mit sicherem Schritt geht der Geheimschüler durch das Leben. Was es ihm auch bringen mag, läßt ihn aufrecht schreiten. Vorher hat er nicht gewußt, warum er arbeitet, warum er leidet: jetzt weiß er dies. Einzusehen ist, daß solche Meditationstätigkeit besser zum Ziele führt, wenn sie unter Anleitung erfahrener Menschen geschieht. Solchen Menschen, die von sich aus wissen, wie alles am besten zu machen ist. Man sehe daher den Rat, die Anweisung solcher Menschen sich an. Man verliert dadurch wahrlich nicht seine Freiheit. Was sonst nur unsicheres Tappen sein kann, wird durch solche Anleitung zum zielsicheren Arbeiten. Wer sich um solche kümmert, die in dieser Richtung Wissen, Erfahrung haben, wird niemals vergeblich anklopfen. Er sei sich nur bewußt, daß er nichts anderes sucht als den Rat eines Freundes, nicht die Übermacht eines solchen, der herrschen will. Man wird immer finden, daß diejenigen, die wirklich wissen, die bescheidensten Menschen sind, und daß ihnen nichts ferner liegt als dasjenige, was die Menschen Machtgelüste nennen.
[ 19 ] Wer sich durch die Meditation erhebt zu dem, was den Menschen mit dem Geist verbindet, der beginnt in sich das zu beleben, was ewig in ihm ist, was nicht durch Geburt und Tod begrenzt ist. Nur diejenigen können zweifeln an einem solchen Ewigen, die es nicht selbst erlebt haben. So ist die Meditation der Weg, der den Menschen auch zur Erkenntnis, zur Anschauung seines ewigen, unzerstörbaren Wesenskernes führt. Und nur durch sie kann der Mensch zu solcher Anschauung kommen. Gnosis, Geisteswissenschaft sprechen von der Ewigkeit dieses Wesenskernes, von der Wiederverkörperung desselben. Oft wird gefragt, warum weiß der Mensch nichts von seinen Erlebnissen, die jenseits von Geburt und Tod liegen? Aber nicht so sollte gefragt werden. Sondern vielmehr so: wie gelangt man zu solchem Wissen? In der richtigen Meditation eröffnet sich der Weg. Durch sie lebt die Erinnerung auf an Erlebnisse, die jenseits von Geburt und Tod liegen. Jeder kann dieses Wissen erwerben; in jedem liegen die Fähigkeiten, selbst zu erkennen, selbst zu schauen, was echte Mystik, Geisteswissenschaft, Anthroposophie und Gnosis lehren. Er muß nur die richtigen Mittel wählen. Nur ein Wesen, das Ohren und Augen hat, kann Töne und Farben wahrnehmen. Und auch das Auge kann nichts wahrnehmen, wenn das Licht fehlt, das die Dinge sichtbar macht. In der Geheimwissenschaft sind die Mittel gegeben, die geistigen Ohren und Augen zu entwickeln und das geistige Licht zu entzünden. Als drei Stufen können die Mittel der geistigen Schulung bezeichnet werden: 1. Die Vorbereitung. Sie entwickelt die geistigen Sinne. 2. Die Erleuchtung. Sie zündet das geistige Licht an. 3. Die Einweihung. Sie eröffnet den Verkehr mit den Höheren Wesenheiten des Geistes.
[ 20 ] Die folgenden Mitteilungen sind Glieder einer geistigen Schulung, über deren Namen und Wesenheit jeder sich klar wird, der sie richtig anwendet. Sie beziehen sich auf die drei Stufen, durch welche die Schule des geistigen Lebens zu einem gewissen Grade der Einweihung führt. Aber nur so viel von diesen Auseinandersetzungen wird man hier finden, als eben öffentlich gesagt werden kann. Es sind dies Andeutungen, welche aus einer noch viel tieferen, intimen Lehre herausgeholt sind. In der Geheimschulung selbst wird ein ganz bestimmter Lehrgang befolgt. Gewisse Verrichtungen dienen dazu, die Seele des Menschen zum bewußten Verkehr mit der geistigen Welt zu bringen. Diese Verrichtungen verhalten sich etwa zu dem, was im folgenden mitgeteilt wird, wie der Unterricht, den man jemandem in einer höheren streng geregelten Schule gibt, zu der Unterweisung, die man ihm gelegentlich auf einer vorbereitenden Schule zuteil werden läßt. Doch kann die ernste und beharrliche Verfolgung dessen, was man hier angedeutet findet, zur wirklichen Geheimschulung führen. Allerdings, das ungeduldige Probieren, ohne Ernst und Beharrlichkeit, kann zu gar nichts führen. – Von Erfolg kann das Geheimstudium nur sein, wenn dasjenige zunächst eingehalten wird, was bereits gesagt worden ist, und auf dieser Grundlage fortgeschritten wird.
[ 21 ] Die Stufen, welche die angedeutete Überlieferung angibt, sind die folgenden drei: 1. Die Vorbereitung, 2. die Erleuchtung, 3. die Einweihung. Es ist nicht durchaus notwendig, daß diese drei Stufen sich so folgen, daß man die erste ganz durchgemacht hat, bevor die zweite, und diese, bevor die dritte an die Reihe kommen. Man kann in bezug auf gewisse Dinge schon der Erleuchtung, ja der Einweihung teilhaftig werden, wenn man in bezug auf andere sich noch in der Vorbereitung befindet. Doch wird man eine gewisse Zeit in Vorbereitung zu verbringen haben, bevor überhaupt eine Erleuchtung beginnen kann. Und wenigstens für einiges wird man erleuchtet sein müssen, wenn der Anfang mit der Einweihung gemacht werden soll. In der Beschreibung aber müssen, der Einfachheit wegen, die drei Stufen hintereinander folgen.
Inner peace
[ 1 ] The secret disciple is directed to the path of reverence and to the development of the inner life at the beginning of his career. Spiritual science now also provides practical rules, by observing which the path can be entered and the inner life developed. These practical rules are not arbitrary. They are based on ancient experiences and ancient knowledge. They are given in the same way wherever the paths to higher knowledge are shown. All true teachers of the spiritual life agree on the content of these rules, even if they do not always express them in the same words. The subordinate, actually only apparent difference stems from facts which are not to be discussed here.
[ 2 ] No teacher of spiritual life wants to exercise dominion over other people through such rules. He does not want to interfere with anyone's independence. For there are no better appraisers and guardians of human independence than the secret researchers. It has been said (in the previous chapter) that the bond which embraces all initiates is a spiritual one, and that two natural laws form the brackets which hold the components of this bond together. If the initiate now steps out of his enclosed spiritual realm, before the public: then a third law immediately comes into consideration for him. It is this: Arrange your every deed, your every word in such a way that you do not interfere with anyone's free will.
[ 3 ] He who has seen through the fact that a true teacher of the spiritual life is completely imbued with this attitude can also know that he loses nothing of his independence if he follows the practical rules that are offered to him.
[ 4 ] One of the first of these rules can now be expressed in the following words: "Create for yourself moments of inner peace and in these moments learn to distinguish the essential from the non-essential." - It is said here that this practical rule is "put into words of language". Originally, all rules and teachings of spiritual science are given in a symbolic sign language. And whoever wants to get to know their full meaning and scope must first understand this symbolic language. This understanding depends on the fact that the person concerned has already taken the first steps in the secret science. But he can take these steps through the exact observation of such rules as are given here. Everyone who has a serious will has the path open to them.
[ 5 ] The above rule concerning the moments of inner peace is simple. And following it is also simple. But it only leads to the goal if it is approached as seriously and rigorously as it is simple. - Without further ado, we will therefore explain how to follow this rule.
[ 6 ] The secret disciple must separate himself for a short time from his daily life in order to occupy himself during this time with something quite different from the objects of his daily occupation. And the nature of his occupation must also be quite different from that with which he fills the rest of the day. But this is not to be understood as if what he accomplishes in this separate time has nothing to do with the content of his daily work. On the contrary: the person who seeks such separate moments in the right way will soon realize that it is only through them that he receives the full strength for his daily task. Nor should it be believed that the observation of this rule can really deprive someone of time from his duties. If someone really does not have more time at his disposal, five minutes each day will suffice. It depends on how these five minutes are applied.
[ 7 ] During this time, a person should completely tear themselves away from their everyday life. His thoughts and emotions should take on a different color than they usually do. He should let his joys, his sufferings, his sorrows, his experiences, his deeds pass before his soul. And he should position himself in such a way that he sees everything that he otherwise experiences from a higher point of view. Just think of how, in ordinary life, you look at something that someone else has experienced or done quite differently from what you have experienced or done yourself. It cannot be any different. For one is interwoven with what one experiences or does oneself; one only observes the experience or deed of another. What you have to strive for in the separated moments is to look at your own experiences and deeds, to judge them as if you had not experienced or done them yourself, but as if someone else had. Imagine for a moment that someone has experienced a severe stroke of fate. How different is his attitude to this than to a completely similar stroke of fate suffered by his fellow human being? No one can consider this to be unjustified. It is part of human nature. And it is similar to such extraordinary cases in the everyday affairs of life. The secret disciple must seek the strength to face himself like a stranger at certain times. He must face himself with the inner calm of the assessor. If you achieve this, your own experiences will show themselves to you in a new light. As long as you are interwoven in them, as long as you stand in them, you are just as connected to the insignificant as you are to the essential. When you come to the inner calm of the overview, the essential separates itself from the non-essential. Sorrow and joy, every thought, every decision appear different when you face yourself in this way. It is as if one has spent the whole day in one place and has seen the smallest as closely as the largest; then in the evening one climbs a neighboring hill and looks over the whole place at once. Then the parts of this place appear in other mutual relations than when one is in it. This will not and need not succeed with presently experienced destinies; with longer past ones it must be striven for by the student of spiritual life. - The value of such inner, calm introspection depends much less on what one sees in the process than on finding within oneself the power that develops such inner calm.
[ 8 ] For every human being carries a higher human being within himself alongside his - let us call him this - everyday human being. This higher person remains hidden until it is awakened. And everyone can only awaken this higher man himself. But as long as this higher man is not awakened, the higher abilities that lie dormant in every human being and lead to supersensible knowledge remain hidden.
[ 9 ] As long as someone does not feel the fruit of inner peace, he must tell himself that he must continue to strictly follow the above-mentioned rule. For anyone who does so, the day will come when there will be spiritual light around him, when a whole new world will open up to an eye that he has not known within himself until then.
[ 10 ] And nothing needs to change in the outer life of the secret disciple because he begins to follow this rule. He goes about his duties as before; he endures the same sufferings and experiences the same joys as before. In no way can he be alienated from "life" as a result. Indeed, he can pursue this "life" all the more fully throughout the rest of the day because he acquires a "higher life" in his separate moments. Little by little this "higher life" will exert its influence on the ordinary one. The tranquillity of the secluded moments will also have an effect on everyday life. The whole man will become calmer, will gain security in his actions, will no longer be upset by all kinds of incidents. Gradually, such a budding secret disciple will become more and more self-directed, so to speak, and less guided by circumstances and external influences. Such a person will soon realize what a source of strength such separate periods of time are for him. He will begin to stop fretting about things that previously annoyed him, and countless things that he previously feared will cease to cause him anxiety. He acquires a whole new outlook on life. Before, he might have been timid about this or that task. He said to himself: Oh, my strength is not enough to do this as I would have liked. Now he no longer has this thought, but rather a completely different one. Now he says to himself: I will gather all my strength to do my job as well as I possibly can. And he suppresses the thought that could make him timid. For he knows that this very timidity could cause him to perform badly, that in any case this timidity can contribute nothing to the improvement of what is incumbent upon him. And so thought after thought enters into the secret disciple's view of life, which are fruitful and beneficial for his life. They take the place of those that were hindering and weakening. He begins to guide his ship of life on a safe, steady course within the waves of life, whereas before it was tossed to and fro by these waves.
[ 11 ] And such calm and security also have an effect on the whole human being. The inner person grows as a result. And with him grow those inner abilities that lead to higher knowledge. For through the progress he makes in this direction, the secret disciple gradually reaches the point where he himself determines how the impressions of the outside world may affect him. For example, he hears a word by which another person wants to hurt or annoy him. Before his secret discipleship, he would also have been hurt or annoyed. Now that he has entered the path of secret discipleship, he is able to take away the hurtful or angry sting of the word before it has found its way to his inner self. Or another example. A person easily becomes impatient when he has to wait. He enters the path of the secret disciple. In his moments of calm, he imbues himself so much with the feeling of the futility of much impatience that from then on, whenever he experiences impatience, he immediately has this feeling present. The impatience that was about to set in disappears, and a time that would otherwise have been lost under the ideas of impatience is perhaps filled by a useful observation that can be made while waiting.
[ 12 ] Now you only have to realize the implications of all this. Consider that the "higher man" in man is in constant development. But only the peace and security described above enables him to develop according to the law. The waves of outer life squeeze the inner man from all sides if man does not dominate this life, but is dominated by it. Such a person is like a plant that is supposed to develop in a crevice. It withers away until space is created for it. No external forces can create space for the inner man. Only the inner peace that he creates for his soul can do this. External circumstances can only change his external life situation; they can never awaken the "spiritual man" within him. - The secret disciple must give birth to a new, higher man within himself.
[ 13 ] This "higher man" then becomes the "inner ruler" who guides the relations of the outer man with a sure hand. As long as the outer man has the upper hand and leadership, this "inner" man is his slave and therefore cannot develop his powers. If it depends on something other than me whether I get angry or not, then I am not master of myself, or even better: I have not yet found the "ruler within me". I must develop within myself the ability to allow the impressions of the outside world to reach me only in a way determined by myself; only then can I become a secret disciple. And only insofar as the secret disciple seriously seeks this power can he reach his goal. It does not matter how far one gets in a certain time; but only that he earnestly seeks. There have been many who have striven for years without noticing any noticeable progress; many of those who have not despaired, but remained steadfast, have suddenly achieved "inner victory".
[ 14 ] It certainly takes a great deal of strength to create moments of inner peace in some situations in life. But the greater the necessary strength, the more significant is what is achieved. With regard to secret discipleship, everything depends on being able to face oneself energetically, with inner truth and unreserved sincerity, with all one's actions and deeds, as a complete stranger.
[ 15 ] But only one side of the inner activity of the secret disciple is characterized by this birth of the own higher man. There must also be something else. For even if man faces himself as a stranger, he still only looks at himself; he looks at those experiences and actions with which he has grown together through his particular situation in life. He must rise above this. He must rise to a pure humanity that no longer has anything to do with his particular situation. He must move on to a contemplation of those things that concerned him as a human being, even if he lived under completely different circumstances, in a completely different situation. This awakens something in him that goes beyond the personal. It directs his gaze to higher worlds than those with which everyday life brings him together. And with this, man begins to feel, to experience that he belongs to such higher worlds. These are worlds about which his senses, his everyday occupation, can tell him nothing. Only then does he transfer the center of his being into his inner being. He listens to the voices within him that speak to him in moments of tranquillity; he maintains inner contact with the spiritual world. He is removed from everyday life. The noise of everyday life has fallen silent for him. It has become quiet around him. He rejects everything that reminds him of such impressions from outside. The quiet contemplation within, the dialog with the purely spiritual world fills his whole soul. - Such quiet contemplation must become a natural need of life for the secret disciple. At first he is completely immersed in a world of thought. He must develop a living feeling for this quiet activity of thought. He must learn to love what the spirit flows towards him. Soon he will also cease to perceive this world of thoughts as something that is more unreal than the things of everyday life that surround him. He begins to deal with his thoughts as with the things in the room. And then the moment also approaches for him when he begins to feel that which reveals itself to him in the silence of inner thought-work as much higher, more real than the things in space. He experiences that life expresses itself in this world of thought. He realizes that thoughts are not mere shadow images, but that hidden entities speak to him through them. It begins to speak to him out of the silence. Before, it only sounded to him through his ear; now it sounds through his soul. An inner language - an inner word - has opened up to him. The secret disciple feels blessed to the highest degree when he experiences this moment for the first time. An inner light pours over his entire outer world. A second life begins for him. The stream of a divine, a God-blessed world pours through him.
[ 16 ] Such a life of the soul in thought, which expands more and more into a life in spiritual essence, is called meditation (contemplative reflection) by gnosis, the spiritual science. This meditation is the means to supersensible knowledge. - But the secret disciple should not indulge in feelings in such moments. He should not have vague feelings in his soul. This would only prevent him from attaining true spiritual knowledge. His thoughts should be clear, sharp and definite. He will find a guide to this if he does not blindly follow the thoughts that come to him. Rather, he should penetrate himself with the lofty thoughts which advanced men, already grasped by the spirit, have thought in such moments. He should take as his starting point the writings which themselves have sprung from such revelation in meditation. In the mystical, in the Gnostic, in the spiritual-scientific literature of today the secret disciple finds such writings. There he finds the material for his meditation. The spirit seekers themselves have laid down the thoughts of divine science in such writings; the spirit has had them proclaimed to the world through its messengers.
[ 17 ] Through such meditation a complete transformation takes place with the secret disciple. He begins to form completely new ideas about reality. All things take on a different value for him. It must be said again and again: the secret disciple does not become unworldly through such a transformation. He is in no way alienated from his everyday duties. For he learns to realize that the slightest action he has to perform, the slightest experience that presents itself to him, is connected with the great world entities and world events. Once this connection becomes clear to him through his contemplative moments, then he enters into his daily sphere of activity with new and fuller strength. For now he knows that what he works, what he suffers, he works and suffers for the sake of a great, spiritual world context. Power to live, not laxity, flows from meditation.
[ 18 ] The secret disciple goes through life with a sure step. Whatever it may bring him, it makes him walk upright. Before, he did not know why he was working, why he was suffering: now he knows. It can be seen that such meditation activity leads better to the goal if it is done under the guidance of experienced people. People who know for themselves how best to do everything. You should therefore follow the advice and instructions of such people. You really don't lose your freedom as a result. What can otherwise only be uncertain groping becomes unerring work through such guidance. Those who look to those who have knowledge and experience in this direction will never knock in vain. He should only be aware that he is seeking nothing but the advice of a friend, not the superiority of one who wants to rule. One will always find that those who really know are the most humble of men, and that nothing is further from their minds than what men call the lust for power.
[ 19 ] He who rises through meditation to that which connects man with the spirit begins to enliven that which is eternal in him, that which is not limited by birth and death. Only those who have not experienced the eternal themselves can doubt it. Meditation is therefore the path that leads people to knowledge, to the realization of their eternal, indestructible essence. And only through meditation can man come to such an insight. Gnosis and spiritual science speak of the eternity of this core of being, of its re-embodiment. It is often asked why man knows nothing of his experiences that lie beyond birth and death. But this should not be the question. Rather, how does one attain such knowledge? The path opens up in the right meditation. It revives the memory of experiences that lie beyond birth and death. Everyone can acquire this knowledge; everyone has the ability to recognize for himself, to see for himself what true mysticism, spiritual science, anthroposophy and gnosis teach. He only has to choose the right means. Only a being that has ears and eyes can perceive sounds and colors. And even the eye cannot perceive anything if the light that makes things visible is missing. In the secret science the means are given to develop the spiritual ears and eyes and to ignite the spiritual light. The means of spiritual training can be described as three stages: 1 Preparation. It develops the spiritual senses. 2. Enlightenment. It ignites the spiritual light. 3. The initiation. It opens communication with the Higher Beings of the spirit.
[ 20 ] The following messages are links in a spiritual training, the names and nature of which will become clear to anyone who applies them correctly. They refer to the three stages through which the school of spiritual life leads to a certain degree of initiation. But only so much of these arguments will be found here as can be said publicly. These are allusions drawn from a much deeper, more intimate teaching. In the secret training itself, a very specific course of teaching is followed. Certain exercises serve to bring the soul of man into conscious contact with the spiritual world. These exercises are related to what follows in the same way as the instruction given to someone in a higher, strictly regulated school is related to the instruction occasionally given to him in a preparatory school. But the serious and persevering pursuit of what is indicated here can lead to real secret training. However, impatient trial and error, without seriousness and perseverance, can lead to nothing at all. - The secret study can only be successful if what has already been said is initially adhered to and progress is made on this basis.
[ 21 ] The stages indicated by the above tradition are the following three: 1. preparation, 2. enlightenment, 3. initiation. It is not absolutely necessary that these three stages follow each other in such a way that one has gone through the first entirely before the second, and this before the third. One can already attain enlightenment, even initiation, with regard to certain things if one is still in preparation with regard to others. But you will have to spend a certain amount of time in preparation before enlightenment can even begin. And one will have to be enlightened for at least some things if the beginning of initiation is to be made. In the description, however, for the sake of simplicity, the three stages must follow one after the other.